Blog

I smell a digital media conspiracy.

And it goes a little something like this.

Buoyed by the web hits created by Sachsgate in 2008, shadowy online content czars representing each of the UK’s main media outlets meet somewhere secret.

On their agenda is just one topic, to discuss how such snowballing scandals can replace the outmoded fallbacks of Princess Diana and Big Brother, which have served their printed front pages so well.

They hatch a plan. It involves a new breed of media consumer they call the Twitterati – crucial for fuelling the scandal – and an idea stolen from America, where partisan commentators such as Glenn Beck have given up on reporting news and decided to become the story, realising that this is quicker than waiting for the next celeb to stumble into their fake outrage trap.

Silently, the Daily Mail’s czar summons Jan Moir.
Despite being a meeting of digital minds there is a low-tech National Lottery draw feel to proceedings and Jan plucks a ball from the modified bingo machine.

It reads ‘Gay Scandal’.

She nods gravely and steps down to make way for The Times’ AA Gill. His face breaks into a grin as he sees ‘Dead Baboon Scandal’ on his.

Next up is The Guardian’s Charlie Brooker. He triumphantly holds up his choice in the light like a Hobbit with a quest. It states ‘Jan Moir Scandal’.

And so it begins.

The digital age of scandal after media scandal.

One columnist implements it, a hashtag is born, another columnist covers it. A bazillion page impressions for everyone later we move on.

To Richard Littlejohn.

Sat in his car outside a pet shop with a lottery ball which simply instructs: ‘Punch a kitten’.

Public relations. It’s not about Champagne and glitzy nights.

Well, not at Citypress.

Granted, we are acquainted with both occasionally, but it isn’t at the Paris Hiltonesque rate that flits across the average mind when you tell people that you work in PR.

In fact, with the agency headcount growing to 30 people, socialising en masse has become a bit unwieldy.

But, to paraphrase Frank Gallagher, we still know how to throw a party – 12 of them actually. Dinner parties.

October sees everyone at Citypress tie their apron strings for our second annual Come Dine with Me competition.

If you’re familiar with the cult Channel 4 show you’ll appreciate how competitive a pleasant evening of food and drink can get.

But on TV there’s only five contestants. We have four groups of six people cooking in pairs. We’re catering for vegetarians, coeliacs and people who live in Chorlton.

All of this culminates in a Grand Final in November. Liposuction in December.

We’ll embarrass the winners next month.

You may be familiar with the concept of the ‘so bad it’s good’ movie.

I don’t want to cast aspersions on what, for many, may be favourite films, but Keanu Reeves and the late Patrick Swayze are two of the genre’s key actors, making Point Break the benchmark film. This is fact.

But I’m not sure it works as a marketing ploy, even when the explosion in sharing digital content allows both good and bad campaigns to make an impact.

Whereas many truly awful campaigns once died on the daytime TV circuit, today’s worst examples are emailed, Tweeted or have Facebook groups dedicated to mocking them.

One recent example is so bad that it’s tempting to dismiss it as a spoof. Unfortunately it’s not. The Windows 7 ‘launch parties’ video on YouTube is over six minutes of marketing so knuckle-bitingly cringeworthy that I challenge you to get to the end.

The official version has had nearly one million views but adding comments has wisely been disabled. Remarks below this unofficial version reveal why.

While Apple continues to redefine cool with its products and marketing, Microsoft has chosen to promote one of its core launches with a cheap looking campaign seemingly devised by a team of Apprentice hopefuls. I can hear Alan Sugar now.

As a contrast, look what this group of French Canadian students produced to promote their university in Montreal. Cheap, effective, over a million views.

It isn’t even an original idea. Just a good one, well executed.